Delivery

river in November light between bare woods and mountain
Coming back from the dentist, half my face
still numb from the lidocaine and epinephrine
injected in my gums, I listen to a woman
on the radio who's telling the story of
giving birth to her baby at home. What's
remarkable is that she was around three
weeks over her due date. Her midwife
tells her to believe her body knows
what it is supposed to do, and her un-
born child too. All turns out well
in that story: a child weighing over
ten pounds, with ten fingers and toes.
Would I have been as brave, as trusting?
There was a time in the annals of medical
science when it was believed babies knew
no pain. I cringe, imagining the trauma
and shock when they might have needed
surgery. The woman on the radio repeats,
the body is wise and knows what to do.
There is instinct, and there is also pain.
I know from experience the numbness
in my mouth will wear off in a few
hours, after which I can eat and drink
but carefully, since I only have
temporaries over my back molars.
The body is wise in many ways. But
the body breaks, can be broken.
The body also needs so much support.
The dental assistants talk about making
a mold for constructing the bridge
I need. They've modeled it after
the shape of that part of the interior
of my mouth, a wet cave they flush dry
with air every few minutes. One shines
her headlight over a spot that needs
more buildup, and suctions up any
loose material. I am told to return
in two weeks for the delivery
of the final product.

Flight risk

Sam Pepys and me

(Lady-day). Up betimes and to my office, where all the morning, at noon dined and to the Exchange, and thence to the Sun Tavern, to my Lord Rutherford, and dined with him, and some others, his officers, and Scotch gentlemen, of fine discourse and education. My Lord used me with great respect, and discoursed upon his business as with one that he did esteem of, and indeed I do believe that this garrison is likely to come to something under him. By and by he went away, forgetting to take leave of me, my back being turned, looking upon the aviary, which is there very pretty, and the birds begin to sing well this spring.
Thence home and to my office till night, reading over and consulting upon the book and Ruler that I bought this morning of Browne concerning the lyne of numbers, in which I find much pleasure.
This evening came Captain Grove about hiring ships for Tangier. I did hint to him my desire that I could make some lawfull profit thereof, which he promises that he will tell me of all that he gets and that I shall have a share, which I did not demand, but did silently consent to it, and money I perceive something will be got thereby.
At night Mr. Bland came and sat with me at my office till late, and so I home and to bed. This day being washing day and my maid Susan ill, or would be thought so, put my house so out of order that we had no pleasure almost in anything, my wife being troubled thereat for want of a good cook-maid, and moreover I cannot have my dinner as I ought in memory of my being cut for the stone, but I must have it a day or two hence.

up where the sun is
like something underway

forgetting to turn the birds
into a line of numbers

I find a full
but silent land

with me in any memory
of being stone


Erasure poem derived from The Diary of Samuel Pepys, Wednesday 25 March 1662/63.

Unsound

Sam Pepys and me

Lay pretty long, that is, till past six o’clock, and then up and W. Howe and I very merry together, till having eat our breakfast, he went away, and I to my office. By and by Sir J. Minnes and I to the Victualling Office by appointment to meet several persons upon stating the demands of some people of money from the King.
Here we went into their Bakehouse, and saw all the ovens at work, and good bread too, as ever I would desire to eat.
Thence Sir J. Minnes and I homewards calling at Browne’s, the mathematician in the Minnerys, with a design of buying White’s ruler to measure timber with, but could not agree on the price. So home, and to dinner, and so to my office.
Where we sat anon, and among other things had Cooper’s business tried against Captain Holmes, but I find Cooper a fuddling, troublesome fellow, though a good artist, and so am contented to have him turned out of his place, nor did I see reason to say one word against it, though I know what they did against him was with great envy and pride.
So anon broke up, and after writing letters, &c., home to supper and to bed.

a clock and I
together at breakfast

the demands of someone
in the bread I eat

the call of home to some artist
turned out of his place

I see as one word
with no letters


Erasure poem derived from The Diary of Samuel Pepys, Tuesday 24 March 1662/63.

Poem For When I Can’t Sleep at Night

river in November light between bare woods and mountain
 
After decades of bragging I do my best
work late at night since I'm a night owl,
how is it that I'm practically nodding
into my plate by the end of dinner,
wanting to straightaway brush my teeth,
wash my face, and climb under the covers?
But once I'm there and close my eyes, how
is it that something clicks the lights on
again in my brain and it's anything but
calmante? A friend suggested a visualization
exercise: think of a softly lit orb just above
my head descending as it slowly inflates,
humming over each part of my body until
it reaches my feet. By that time, she said,
you'll be sound asleep. Except before
it can glide over my chest, I'm lost
and awake in a chain of memory-associations.
The light becomes the crackly flash cube
on those old cameras. My mother's ordering
everyone back on the sofa for another picture
because she's sure her eyes were half-closed.
The collar of my mohair sweater is itchy.
All I want to do is drink a cold Mirinda
Orange soda and kick off my shoes. At Gregg's,
she chose them because they were shiny patent
leather; maybe she felt she needed to get me
something, just because she bought two pairs
of pumps for herself. My mother knew she wasn't
born with any kind of spoon in her mouth—
she had to figure out how to get to everything
she wanted, even if it meant staying up late
to sew frothy dresses for wealthy matrons
and their homely daughters, and praising
how they looked when they came for fittings.
She had natural style, though, and could pull
off any outfit. She knew what top to match
with what pencil skirt without looking exactly
like the secretaries in my father's office. Now
I'm lying in my darkened bedroom, in my head
trying to compose tomorrow's outfit. She never
let me wear jeans until I got to college, but now
I wear them even when I teach: dark wash, cuffed
at the hem, or sporting visible mending stitches
I made with bright embroidery thread. I like to wear
low boots and throw on my most unstuffy blazer, aim
for a look that says confident and put together,
but not trying too hard. I've also become
a woman who has to work hard for what she
wants, including the sleep I crave so much.

Poetry Blog Digest 2026, Week 12

Poetry Blogging Network

A personal selection of posts from the Poetry Blogging Network and beyond. Although I tend to quote my favorite bits, please do click through and read the whole posts. You can also browse the blog digest archive at Via Negativa or, if you’d like it in your inbox, subscribe on Substack (where the posts might be truncated by some email providers).

This week: intense incomprehension, the strings of things, apple maggots, plastic words, and much more. Enjoy.

Continue reading “Poetry Blog Digest 2026, Week 12”

Quantum Entanglement

river in November light between bare woods and mountain
Who was it that said rub
the sticks of your bad luck together
and make a little fire out of them?
Well then, why not an all-out conflagration,
a let's-burn-you-down-to-the-cinders so there's
no hope of it coming back (the bad luck, I mean)?
People are always starting memes or conversations
with questions like What should your future
self have said to your past self at a time
when you might have most needed it? I can think
of more than one of those times when I was young
and timid, easily intimidated but scrambling
to quickly put on some costume of bravado.
My future self should have told that past self
Look, kid, it gets better or You don't have
to get hitched to make a life you can call
your own. And when the girl that was me was told
by a man Don't pretend you don't know what I want,
my future self should have said through her mouth
Why don't you fuck all the way off? In this life,
we're lucky to get a glimpse of something trifling
in the moment that later turns out to be (in hindsight)
important. Like the time this girl in a sci-fi series
we were watching says if she'd stayed home instead
of taken the trash to the end of the road, her house,
and her mother inside that house, might still be
around instead of being disappeared into some kind of
wormhole. It turns out the mother didn't really want
to be a mother. And children always think it must be
their fault. Perhaps the girl lingered too long after
school, mouth open and entranced by trees along the way
spangled with icicles, determined to see if each drop
tasted different. Perhaps the mother wanted to go
to conservatory, train her voice into a sweet soprano.
Or she wanted to master theoretical physics and quantum
entanglement, calculating correlations that persist
across light years and distances. In theory,
manipulating entangled particles can help alter
a particle's past state. Think of your future
self taking your child self's hand in your own,
both of you walking into a winter night, little
dendrite flakes suspended for a moment, looking
as though they could be falling either down or up.

Under fire

Sam Pepys and me

Up betimes and to my office, before noon my wife and I eat something, thinking to have gone abroad together, but in comes Mr. Hunt, who we were forced to stay to dinner, and so while that was got ready he and I abroad about 2 or 3 small businesses of mine, and so back to dinner, and after dinner he went away, and my wife and I and Ashwell by coach, set my wife down at her mother’s and Ashwell at my Lord’s, she going to see her father and mother, and I to Whitehall, being fearful almost, so poor a spirit I have, of meeting Major Holmes. By and by the Duke comes, and we with him about our usual business, and then the Committee for Tangier, where, after reading my Lord Rutherford’s commission and consented to, Sir R. Ford, Sir W. Rider, and I were chosen to bring in some laws for the Civill government of it, which I am little able to do, but am glad to be joyned with them, for I shall learn something of them.
Thence to see my Lord Sandwich, and who should I meet at the door but Major Holmes. He would have gone away, but I told him I would not spoil his visitt, and would have gone, but however we fell to discourse and he did as good as desire excuse for the high words that did pass in his heat the other day, which I was willing enough to close with, and after telling him my mind we parted, and I left him to speak with my Lord, and I by coach home, where I found Will. Howe come home to-day with my wife, and staid with us all night, staying late up singing songs, and then he and I to bed together in Ashwell’s bed and she with my wife. This the first time that I ever lay in the room. This day Greatorex brought me a very pretty weather-glass for heat and cold.

noon comes to stay
and being poor

we consent to a government
of sand and spoil

but how we desire a night
in bed together
and the weather cold


Erasure poem derived from The Diary of Samuel Pepys, Monday 23 March 1662/63.

Mental health break

Sam Pepys and me

(Lord’s day). Up betimes and in my office wrote out our bill for the Parliament about our being made justices of Peace in the City.
So home and to church, where a dull formall fellow that prayed for the Right Hon. John Lord Barkeley, Lord President of Connaught, &c. So home to dinner, and after dinner my wife and I and her woman by coach to Westminster, where being come too soon for the Christening we took up Mr. Creed and went out to take some ayre, as far as Chelsey and further, I lighting there and letting them go on with the coach while I went to the church expecting to see the young ladies of the school, Ashwell desiring me, but I could not get in far enough, and so came out and at the coach’s coming back went in again and so back to Westminster, and led my wife and her to Captain Ferrers, and I to my Lord Sandwich, and with him talking a good while; I find the Court would have this Indulgence go on, but the Parliament are against it. Matters in Ireland are full of discontent.
Thence with Mr. Creed to Captain Ferrers, where many fine ladies; the house well and prettily furnished. She lies in, in great state, Mr. G. Montagu, Collonel Williams, Cromwell that was, and Mrs. Wright as proxy for my Lady Jemimah, were witnesses. Very pretty and plentiful entertainment, could not get away till nine at night, and so home. My coach cost me 7s. So to prayers, and to bed.
This day though I was merry enough yet I could not get yesterday’s quarrel out of my mind, and a natural fear of being challenged by Holmes for the words I did give him, though nothing but what did become me as a principal officer.

out to take some air
as far as I fare

in the fine fur of my fear
of being nothing


Erasure poem derived from The Diary of Samuel Pepys, Sunday 22 March 1662/63.

Not to be the Sun

river in November light between bare woods and mountain
Some say I am light-
ning when I write, sure
of the strike and the burn.
Brilliance seen for miles
around, but is it only for
the space of a few seconds?

The accretions of language
through the years, flint
cobbled from the silt and
mud of this life. Sentences
honed through practice—
this requires patience.

This is not an ode
to the ways in which
certain hothouse plants
bloom only one night each
year— a grand display,
followed by sad withering.

Neither is this praise
for steadfastness or obscurity,
for holding still against
a background, like the velvet
of moth wings melting against
warm screens of bark.

And this isn't mere
argument for importance and
various other bold announcements
of self— not to be the sun, but
to have proof my small heat matters
and emits a real radiance of its own.

Origin story

Sam Pepys and me

Up betimes and to my office, where busy all the morning, and at noon, after a very little dinner, to it again, and by and by, by appointment, our full board met, and Sir Philip Warwick and Sir Robert Long came from my Lord Treasurer to speak with us about the state of the debts of the Navy; and how to settle it, so as to begin upon the new foundation of 200,000l. per annum, which the King is now resolved not to exceed. This discourse done, and things put in a way of doing, they went away, and Captain Holmes being called in he began his high complaint against his Master Cooper, and would have him forthwith discharged. Which I opposed, not in his defence but for the justice of proceeding not to condemn a man unheard, upon [which] we fell from one word to another that we came to very high terms, such as troubled me, though all and the worst that I ever said was that that was insolently or ill mannerdly spoken. When he told me that it was well it was here that I said it. But all the officers, Sir G. Carteret, Sir J. Minnes, Sir W. Batten, and Sir W. Pen cried shame of it. At last he parted and we resolved to bring the dispute between him and his Master to a trial next week, wherein I shall not at all concern myself in defence of any thing that is unhandsome on the Masters part nor willingly suffer him to have any wrong. So we rose and I to my office, troubled though sensible that all the officers are of opinion that he has carried himself very much unbecoming him.
So wrote letters by the post, and home to supper and to bed.

war and the state
begin with a fence

an unheard word
to the worst pen

a last dispute between
masters of unbecoming


Erasure poem derived from The Diary of Samuel Pepys, Saturday 21 March 1662/63.