Preternatural

river in November light between bare woods and mountain
Within a furniture store, labyrinthine trails
wound through draperies of green.
Oh the enticements packaged as tufted
nests, aisles lined with luminaries
voluptuous as menageries. Beds with no
bodies in them, wrappers and quilts
baroque with scrolls and windowpanes.
Glass blown into acorn shapes
beckoning eternal winter, next to bins
of stuffed red pandas and raccoons.
When we passed back through the automatic
doors, the sky was ablaze like a high
contrast movie poster. Every edge hummed,
just short of a strident register.


Academia

Sam Pepys and me

Up, and this morning comes Mr. Clerke, and tells me that the Injunction against Trice is dismissed again, which troubles me much. So I am to look after it in the afternoon. There comes also by appointment my uncle Thomas, to receive the first payment of his daughter’s money. But showing of me the original of the deed by which his daughter gives her right to her legacy to him, and the copy of it attested by the Scrivener, for me to keep by me, I did find some difference, and thereupon did look more into it, and at last did find the whole thing a forgery; yet he maintained it again and again, upon oath, that it had been signed and sealed by my cozen Mary ever since before her marriage. So I told him to his teeth he did like a knave, and so he did, and went with him to the Scrivener at Bedlam, and there found how it came to pass, viz., that he had lost, or pretends to have lost, the true original, and that so he was forced to take this course; but a knave, at least a man that values not what he swears to, I perceive he is. But however I am now better able to see myself fully secured before I part with the money, for I find that his son Charles has right to this legacy till the first 100l. of his daughter’s portion be paid, he being bond for it. So I put him upon getting both his sons to be bound for my security, and so left him and so home, and then abroad to my brother’s, but found him abroad at the young couple that was married yesterday, and he one of the Br[ide’s] men, a kinswoman (Brumfield) of the Joyces married to an upholster.
Thence walked to the King’s Head at Charing Cross and there dined, and hear that the Queen slept pretty well last night, but her fever continues upon her still. It seems she hath never a Portuguese doctor here.
Thence by appointment to the Six Clerks’ office to meet Mr. Clerke, which I did and there waited all the afternoon for Wilkinson my attorney, but he came not, and so vexed and weary we parted, and I endeavoured but in vain to have found Dr. Williams, of whom I shall have use in Trice’s business, but I could not find him. So weary walked home; in my way bought a large kitchen knife and half dozen oyster knives. Thence to Mr. Holliard, who tells me that Mullins is dead of his leg cut off the other day, but most basely done.
He tells me that there is no doubt but that all my slyme do come away in my water, and therefore no fear of the stone; but that my water being so slymy is a good sign. He would have me now and then to take a clyster, the same I did the other day, though I feel no pain, only to keep me loose, and instead of butter, which he would have to be salt butter, he would have me sometimes use two or three ounces of honey, at other times two or three ounces of Linseed oil.
Thence to Mr. Rawlinson’s and saw some of my new bottles made, with my crest upon them, filled with wine, about five or six dozen.
So home and to my office a little, and thence home to prepare myself against T. Trice, and also to draw a bond fit for my uncle and his sons to enter into before I pay them the money. That done to bed.

at the junction of legacy and difference
I look into a hole

like a scrivener at Bedlam
that true original course

I am better able to see
my part of a broad field

I have found all my water
and a stone to keep


Erasure poem derived from The Diary of Samuel Pepys, Friday 23 October 1663.

Entr’acte

river in November light between bare woods and mountain
In the stillness that follows a great
abandonment, the smallest motifs
acquire consequence. Once there was
a patch of milkweed where now there is
raked gravel. The woman in the workshop
tonight spoke of what she called red doors—
those threshold moments that tick like a lure
and like a warning, and after you've crossed
into them you realize there's no returning.
The scent of spores, of old musk, lines the air.
How many more calendar squares are left
in the year? To be cocooned in cold, to slowly
run out of words. To surrender to a force
and without the least bit of guile say
It appears you have won—for now.



Specialist

Sam Pepys and me

Up to the office, where we sat till noon and then I home to dinner, and after dinner with my wife to her study and there read some more arithmetique, which she takes with great ease and pleasure. This morning, hearing that the Queen grows worse again, I sent to stop the making of my velvet cloake, till I see whether she lives or dies.
So a little abroad about several businesses, and then home and to my office till night, and then home to supper, teach my wife, and so to bed.

home to my arithmetic
with an ear of velvet

till I live or die a little
in each bed


Erasure poem derived from The Diary of Samuel Pepys, Thursday 22 October 1663.

The Students are Writing Signs

river in November light between bare woods and mountain



The students put up these signs in front of the building
where yesterday, one of them fell to their death
from the eighth floor.

The signs are lettered using their own hands, fingers
curled around markers.

They tape them up on the glass panes
and you can see every finger smudge.

The signs are unafraid of using words
like suicide instead of incident.

Like accountability. And care, community, humanity.

They are composed on the spot, fueled by feeling,
by anger, by sadness, by fear, by frustration.

Nothing a machine would understand enough
to generate something real.

Something not immediately trying to isolate
and contain.

After: A Zuihitsu

river in November light between bare woods and mountain
I distrust what preaches of progression toward certain resolution. 

It was a blue and gold day. The first of many tinged with the growing colors
of autumn.

Leftover blue of a wing; a wave, cold and crested by a lone surfboarder.

A sky that looked almost like memory preserved whole. Almost.

We stood on the periphery, craning our necks upward.

Afterward is not just what or how much might remain, not just
the message of consolation as repair.

Sirens moved down the boulevard as trucks and buses moved aside.

It is rumored that there are now only two custodians assigned the cleaning
of one building.

The labor of love is equal to the labor of grief.
Someone has to climb the ladder.

Coats in the hall closet look like they have kept the shapes of
shoulders that have long slipped out of them.

There are messages left on office phones that do not ask for a reply.
Messages made entirely of silence, and yet take up time.

Taking inventory sometimes means only fragments remain.
They still matter, beyond any account of their usefulness.

That pause in the weather. Half a sentence carried by wind.
The scent of soap, the trace of oil on a sleeve.

Coloring

Sam Pepys and me

Up, and by and by comes my brother Tom to me, though late (which do vex me to the blood that I could never get him to come time enough to me, though I have spoke a hundred times; but he is very sluggish, and too negligent ever to do well at his trade I doubt), and having lately considered with my wife very much of the inconvenience of my going in no better plight, we did resolve of putting me into a better garb, and, among other things, to have a good velvet cloake; that is, of cloth lined with velvet and other things modish, and a perruque, and so I sent him and her out to buy me velvet, and I to the Exchange, and so to Trinity House, and there dined with Sir W. Batten, having some business to speak with him, and Sir W. Rider. Thence, having my belly full, away on foot to my brother’s, all along Thames Streete, and my belly being full of small beer, I did all alone, for health’s sake, drink half a pint of Rhenish wine at the Still-yard, mixed with beer.
From my brother’s with my wife to the Exchange, to buy things for her and myself, I being in a humour of laying out money, but not prodigally, but only in clothes, which I every day see that I suffer for want of, I so home, and after a little at my office, home to supper and to bed.
Memorandum: This morning one Mr. Commander, a scrivener, came to me from Mr. Moore with a deed of which. Mr. Moore had told me, that my Lord had made use of my name, and that I was desired by my Lord to sign it. Remembering this very well, though understanding little of the particulars, I read it over, and found it concern Sir Robt. Bernard and Duckinford, their interest in the manor of Brampton. So I did sign it, declaring to Mr. Commander that I am only concerned in having my name at my Lord Sandwich’s desire used therein, and so I sealed it up after I had signed and sealed the deed, and desired him to give it so sealed to Mr. Moore. I did also call at the Wardrobe this afternoon to have told Mr. Moore of it, but he was not within, but knowing Mr. Commander to have the esteem of a good and honest man with my Lord Crew, I did not doubt to intrust him with the deed after I had signed it.
This evening after I came home I begun to enter my wife in arithmetique, in order to her studying of the globes, and she takes it very well, and, I hope, with great pleasure, I shall bring her to understand many fine things.

up comes the blood
into the oak

a prodigal embering
I understand little of

to sign my name in red
but not to rust


Erasure poem derived from The Diary of Samuel Pepys, Wednesday 21 October 1663.

Promise land

Sam Pepys and me

Up and to the office, where we sat; and at noon Sir G. Carteret, Sir J. Minnes, and I to dinner to my Lord Mayor’s, being invited, where was the Farmers of the Customes, my Lord Chancellor’s three sons, and other great and much company, and a very great noble dinner, as this Mayor is good for nothing else. No extraordinary discourse of any thing, every man being intent upon his dinner, and myself willing to have drunk some wine to have warmed my belly, but I did for my oath’s sake willingly refrain it, but am so well pleased and satisfied afterwards thereby, for it do keep me always in so good a frame of mind that I hope I shall not ever leave this practice. Thence home, and took my wife by coach to White Hall, and she set down at my Lord’s lodgings, I to a Committee of Tangier, and thence with her homeward, calling at several places by the way. Among others at Paul’s Churchyard, and while I was in Kirton’s shop, a fellow came to offer kindness or force to my wife in the coach, but she refusing, he went away, after the coachman had struck him, and he the coachman. So I being called, went thither, and the fellow coming out again of a shop, I did give him a good cuff or two on the chops, and seeing him not oppose me, I did give him another; at last found him drunk, of which I was glad, and so left him, and home, and so to my office awhile, and so home to supper and to bed.
This evening, at my Lord’s lodgings, Mrs. Sarah talking with my wife and I how the Queen do, and how the King tends her being so ill. She tells us that the Queen’s sickness is the spotted fever; that she was as full of the spots as a leopard which is very strange that it should be no more known; but perhaps it is not so. And that the King do seem to take it much to heart, for that he hath wept before her; but, for all that; that he hath not missed one night since she was sick, of supping with my Lady Castlemaine; which I believe is true, for she says that her husband hath dressed the suppers every night; and I confess I saw him myself coming through the street dressing of a great supper to-night, which Sarah says is also for the King and her; which is a very strange thing.

a farm for nothing
in every belly

a war always on offer
kindness or force

a way of seeing
no other at last

left us a leopard
to take to heart


Erasure poem derived from The Diary of Samuel Pepys, Tuesday 20 October 1663.

Hotline

Sam Pepys and me

Waked with a very high wind, and said to my wife, “I pray God I hear not of the death of any great person, this wind is so high!” fearing that the Queen might be dead.
So up; and going by coach with Sir W. Batten and Sir J. Minnes to St. James’s, they tell me that Sir W. Compton, who it is true had been a little sickly for a week or fortnight, but was very well upon Friday at night last at the Tangier Committee with us, was dead — died yesterday: at which I was most exceedingly surprised, he being, and so all the world saying that he was, one of the worthyest men and best officers of State now in England; and so in my conscience he was: of the best temper, valour, abilities of mind, integrity, birth, fine person, and diligence of any one man he hath left behind him in the three kingdoms; and yet not forty years old, or if so, that is all. I find the sober men of the Court troubled for him; and yet not so as to hinder or lessen their mirth, talking, laughing, and eating, drinking, and doing every thing else, just as if there was no such thing, which is as good an instance for me hereafter to judge of death, both as to the unavoidableness, suddenness, and little effect of it upon the spirits of others, let a man be never so high, or rich, or good; but that all die alike, no more matter being made of the death of one than another, and that even to die well, the praise of it is not considerable in the world, compared to the many in the world that know not nor make anything of it, nor perhaps to them (unless to one that like this poor gentleman, who is one of a thousand, there nobody speaking ill of him) that will speak ill of a man.
Coming to St. James’s, I hear that the Queen did sleep five hours pretty well to-night, and that she waked and gargled her mouth, and to sleep again; but that her pulse beats fast, beating twenty to the King’s or my Lady Suffolk’s eleven; but not so strong as it was. It seems she was so ill as to be shaved and pidgeons put to her feet, and to have the extreme unction given her by the priests, who were so long about it that the doctors were angry. The King, they all say; is most fondly disconsolate for her, and weeps by her, which makes her weep; which one this day told me he reckons a good sign, for that it carries away some rheume from the head.
This morning Captain Allen tells me how the famous Ned Mullins, by a slight fall, broke his leg at the ancle, which festered; and he had his leg cut off on Saturday, but so ill done, notwithstanding all the great chyrurgeons about the town at the doing of it, that they fear he will not live with it, which is very strange, besides the torment he was put to with it.
After being a little with the Duke, and being invited to dinner to my Lord Barkeley’s, and so, not knowing how to spend our time till noon, Sir W. Batten and I took coach, and to the Coffee-house in Cornhill; where much talk about the Turk’s proceedings, and that the plague is got to Amsterdam, brought by a ship from Argier; and it is also carried to Hambrough. The Duke says the King purposes to forbid any of their ships coming into the river. The Duke also told us of several Christian commanders (French) gone over to the Turks to serve them; and upon inquiry I find that the King of France do by this aspire to the Empire, and so to get the Crown of Spayne also upon the death of the King, which is very probable, it seems. Back to St. James’s, and there dined with my Lord Barkeley and his lady, where Sir G. Carteret, Sir W. Batten, and myself, with two gentlemen more; my Lady, and one of the ladies of honour to the Duchesse (no handsome woman, but a most excellent hand). A fine French dinner, and so we after dinner broke up and to Creed’s new lodgings in Axe-yard, which I like very well and so with him to White Hall and walked up and down in the galleries with good discourse, and anon Mr. Coventry and Povy, sad for the loss of one of our number we sat down as a Committee for Tangier and did some business and so broke up, and I down with Mr. Coventry and in his chamber discoursing of business of the office and Sir J. Minnes and Sir W. Batten’s carriage, when he most ingeniously tells me how they have carried themselves to him in forbearing to speak the other day to the Duke what they know they have so largely at other times said to him, and I told him what I am put to about the bargain for masts. I perceive he thinks of it all and will remember it. Thence took up my wife at Mrs. Harper’s where she and Jane were, and so called at the New Exchange for some things for her, and then at Tom’s went up and saw his house now it is finished, and indeed it is very handsome, but he not within and so home and to my office; and then to supper and to bed.

the wind died yesterday
left for the spirit world

unlike this poor body
that will sleep and wake again

and weep at the light
with plague ships coming

I aspire to the probable
an excellent hand

like the one number
we all remember to call


Erasure poem derived from The Diary of Samuel Pepys, Monday 19 October 1663.

The Baculum

river in November light between bare woods and mountain


can be the longest bone in some 
mammals’ bodies—for instance,
the walrus baculum can be over 2 
feet long and thus the longest bone 
in its entire body. Strangely, as well, 
the blue whale—not only the largest 
mammal but also considered the largest 
animal alive on earth—doesn’t have a penis 
bone. During late night TV shows, it’s surprising 
how many commercials seemingly target an older
generation of viewers concerned about their blood 
pressure, weight gain, fading memory, or erectile 
dysfunction. Ads for the latter used to roll out 
images of crooked cucumbers and language 
overflowing with barely disguised metaphor—
You’re either going to lie down or you’re going 
to stand up
, or Don’t let being unable to get it up
get you down
. In some of the world’s largest 
natural history museums, mammal skeletons 
have been prepared for display without one,
for reasons of modesty or prudishness.   
Elsewhere, collectors whittle them smooth,
might even use the ones from raccoons
as toothpicks. Behind glass, a tray of impressions:
curious bone that’s often not attached to anything,
that just sort of floats in the soft tissue
. Dog, fox, 
coyote; otter, black bear, badger, mink, skunk.