Plans and conditions,

river in November light between bare woods and mountain
wills and directives— if this,  

then that. If we're lucky, or
not. Who benefits from certain

actions? Who gains from my love
of bathing in sunlight, loses

from my habit of pulling up weeds
with bare hands? I know the cost

of not putting things in order.
I also know also how impossible

it is to itemize assets vs. debts,
time spent vs. time held against

future use. Finally, I'm learning
to sort the mail as soon as it

comes, to believe in dreams
as dreams instead of prophecy—

one springs from the mind
of what can be, and the other

from the mind of what seems
to know what can't be known.

Consumer report

Sam Pepys and me

Up betimes and to my office. By and by to Lombard street by appointment to meet Mr. Moore, but the business not being ready I returned to the office, where we sat a while, and, being sent for, I returned to him and there signed to some papers in the conveying of some lands mortgaged by Sir Rob. Parkhurst in my name to my Lord Sandwich, which I having done I returned home to dinner.
Whither by and by comes Roger Pepys, Mrs. Turner her daughter, Joyce Norton, and a young lady, a daughter of Coll. Cockes, my uncle Wight, his wife and Mrs. Anne Wight. This being my feast, in lieu of what I should have had a few days ago for my cutting of the stone, for which the Lord make me truly thankful.
Very merry at, before, and after dinner, and the more for that my dinner was great, and most neatly dressed by our own only maid. We had a fricasee of rabbits and chickens, a leg of mutton boiled, three carps in a dish, a great dish of a side of lamb, a dish of roasted pigeons, a dish of four lobsters, three tarts, a lamprey pie (a most rare pie), a dish of anchovies, good wine of several sorts, and all things mighty noble and to my great content.
After dinner to Hide Park; my aunt, Mrs. Wight and I in one coach, and all the rest of the women in Mrs. Turner’s; Roger being gone in haste to the Parliament about the carrying this business of the Papists, in which it seems there is great contest on both sides, and my uncle and father staying together behind. At the Park was the King, and in another coach my Lady Castlemaine, they greeting one another at every tour. Here about an hour, and so leaving all by the way we home and found the house as clean as if nothing had been done there to-day from top to bottom, which made us give the cook 12d. a piece, each of us.
So to my office about writing letters by the post, one to my brother John at Brampton telling him (hoping to work a good effect by it upon my mother) how melancholy my father is, and bidding him use all means to get my mother to live peaceably and quietly, which I am sure she neither do nor I fear can ever do, but frightening her with his coming down no more, and the danger of her condition if he should die I trust may do good.
So home and to bed.

a sandwich for dinner
in a car park

there is a test every day
on how to live

a quiet which neither ear
can ever own


Erasure poem derived from The Diary of Samuel Pepys, Saturday 4 April 1663.

Still

river in November light between bare woods and mountain
We go back to the doctor whose name
means either target or stain. Back to
the room with crinkly paper on the exam
table, posters on the walls illustrating
roads connecting the nose to the throat
and the ear. We are here for results,
which means consequence or outcome,
or the score after a test. The doctor
says a few new spots, as if he might
be talking about cafés in town
or tickets to a sold-out concert.
Small, he says like an afterthought;
just something to watch. But already
the muscle that anticipates grief
has awakened again in me. We walk
to the parking garage. Magnolias
are pinking their branches. Cars honk.
A guy walks across the street, eyes glued
to a phone in his hands, oblivious. Almost
evening but the light is still impossibly
bright, so we decide to stop for ice
cream. When we lie down at night, I listen
to your breathing, tell myself the future
isn't arriving yet, or all at once.

Protecting the homeland

Sam Pepys and me

Waked betimes and talked half an hour with my father, and so I rose and to my office, and about 9 o’clock by water from the Old Swan to White Hall and to chappell, which being most monstrous full, I could not go into my pew, but sat among the quire. Dr. Creeton, the Scotchman, preached a most admirable, good, learned, honest and most severe sermon, yet comicall, upon the words of the woman concerning the Virgin, “Blessed is the womb that bare thee (meaning Christ) and the paps that gave thee suck; and he answered, Nay; rather is he blessed that heareth the word of God, and keepeth it.”
He railed bitterly ever and anon against John Calvin, and his brood, the Presbyterians, and against the present term, now in use, of “tender consciences.” He ripped up Hugh Peters (calling him the execrable skellum), his preaching and stirring up the maids of the city to bring in their bodkins and thimbles.
Thence going out of White Hall, I met Captain Grove, who did give me a letter directed to myself from himself. I discerned money to be in it, and took it, knowing, as I found it to be, the proceed of the place I have got him to be, the taking up of vessels for Tangier. But I did not open it till I came home to my office, and there I broke it open, not looking into it till all the money was out, that I might say I saw no money in the paper, if ever I should be questioned about it. There was a piece in gold and 4l. in silver.
So home to dinner with my father and wife, and after dinner up to my tryangle, where I found that above my expectation Ashwell has very good principles of musique and can take out a lesson herself with very little pains, at which I am very glad. Thence away back again by water to Whitehall, and there to the Tangier Committee, where we find ourselves at a great stand; the establishment being but 70,000l. per annum, and the forces to be kept in the town at the least estimate that my Lord Rutherford can be got to bring it is 53,000l.. The charge of this year’s work of the Mole will be 13,000l.; besides 1000l. a-year to my Lord Peterborough as a pension, and the fortifications and contingencys, which puts us to a great stand, and so unsettled what to do therein we rose, and I to see my Lord Sandwich, whom I found merry at cards, and so by coach home, and after supper a little to my office and so home and to bed.
I find at Court that there is some bad news from Ireland of an insurrection of the Catholiques there, which puts them into an alarm.
I hear also in the City that for certain there is an embargo upon all our ships in Spayne, upon this action of my Lord Windsor’s at Cuba, which signifies little or nothing, but only he hath a mind to say that he hath done something before he comes back again.
Late tonight I sent to invite my uncle Wight and aunt with Mrs. Turner to-morrow.

the old bare Christ
on his rood

against present
tender consciences

should be questioned
about his work for insurrection

before he comes
back again


Erasure poem derived from The Diary of Samuel Pepys, Friday 3 April 1663.

I am an immigrant like you

river in November light between bare woods and mountain
except in all the ways my being
an immigrant are different
from all the ways you experience
your being an immigrant
differently from me.

And yet we are capable
of the same joy, the same
grieving, the same terrible
capacity to break and be
broken open, to choose rice
over bread, both salt and sugar,
soft instead of hard.

Naked truths

Sam Pepys and me

Up by very betimes and to my office, where all the morning till towards noon, and then by coach to Westminster Hall with Sir W. Pen, and while he went up to the House I walked in the Hall with Mr. Pierce, the surgeon, that I met there, talking about my business the other day with Holmes, whom I told my mind, and did freely tell how I do depend upon my care and diligence in my employment to bear me out against the pride of Holmes or any man else in things that are honest, and much to that purpose which I know he will make good use of. But he did advise me to take as few occasions as I can of disobliging Commanders, though this is one that every body is glad to hear that he do receive a check.
By and by the House rises and I home again with Sir W. Pen, and all the way talking of the same business, to whom I did on purpose tell him my mind freely, and let him see that it must be a wiser man than Holmes (in these very words) that shall do me any hurt while I do my duty. I to remember him of Holmes’s words against Sir J. Minnes, that he was a knave, rogue, coward, and that he will kick him and pull him by the ears, which he remembered all of them and may have occasion to do it hereafter to his owne shame to suffer them to be spoke in his presence without any reply but what I did give him, which, has caused all this feud. But I am glad of it, for I would now and then take occasion to let the world know that I will not be made a novice.
Sir W. Pen took occasion to speak about my wife’s strangeness to him and his daughter, and that believing at last that it was from his taking of Sarah to be his maid, he hath now put her away, at which I am glad.
He told me, that this day the King hath sent to the House his concurrence wholly with them against the Popish priests, Jesuits, &c., which gives great content, and I am glad of it. So home, whither my father comes and dines with us, and being willing to be merry with him I made myself so as much as I could, and so to the office, where we sat all the afternoon, and at night having done all my business I went home to my wife and father, and supped, and so to bed, my father lying with me in Ashwell’s bed in the red chamber.

the honest body
is wiser than any word

which may have to be
spoken in reply

for I would now and then
speak my strangeness

wholly against the suits
which give home to the office

noon and night
having one bed


Erasure poem derived from The Diary of Samuel Pepys, Thursday 2 April 1663.

Notes on Translation

river in November light between bare woods and mountain
Language isn't 
the only gate you think
leads to the garden.

Try to enter the mind
of the one whose work
you're translating.

It might be easier to bribe
the watchman, but where
is the charm in that?

Before it existed as riddle,
the poem beat against stones
at the foot of the cliff.

Or it hung among particles
caught in the lighthouse beams
sweeping across the channel.

The sound of air passing
through the mouth is a variant
of a form that can't be seen.

The chest rises and falls. The water
recedes. Sometimes you can walk so far
without encountering a ripple.

Feet

river in November light between bare woods and mountain
How strange they look, the toes 
like little knobs of ginger snapped

from the root, or like pulled out
taffy, cooled mid-stretch. Heels,

meanwhile, thicken with calluses from
walking or running, standing in line.

From wearing shoes made by those who don't
seem to have any idea beyond the novel

design. Surrender your feet to the woman
at the pedicure place. She'll cluck

as she lowers them into a water bath, then
pat each one dry before sanding down things

with a power tool— like furniture. Furnish,
from the mid-15th century: to fit out,

equip, provision (as in a castle, a ship,
a person). Which is to say, what's used daily,

over time needs some polish. From another angle,
they resemble two narrow isthmuses side by side,

anchoring the mainland of the body to wood floor,
bathroom tile, sandy beach or garden plot. They turn

into maps at the accupressurist's, who traces
and kneads, leans hard into a spot, saying

Liver, lung, right here! the little intestine,
blocked.
Suddenly the key fits into the lock.

A marvel, as if all this time, what you've
always wanted to know was just under your heel.

Fool

Sam Pepys and me

Up betimes and abroad to my brother’s, but he being gone out I went to the Temple to my Cozen Roger Pepys, to see and talk with him a little; who tells me that, with much ado, the Parliament do agree to throw down Popery; but he says it is with so much spite and passion, and an endeavour of bringing all Non-conformists into the same condition, that he is afeard matters will not yet go so well as he could wish.
Thence back to my brother’s, in my way meeting Mr. Moore and talking with him about getting me some money, and calling at my brother’s they tell me that my brother is still abroad, and that my father is not yet up. At which I wondered, not thinking that he was come, though I expected him, because I looked for him at my house. So I up to his bedside and staid an hour or two talking with him. Among other things he tells me how unquiett my mother is grown, that he is not able to live almost with her, if it were not for Pall.
All other matters are as well as upon so hard conditions with my uncle Thomas we can expect them.
I left him in bed, being very weary, to come to my house to-night or tomorrow, when he pleases, and so I home, calling on the virginall maker, buying a rest for myself to tune my tryangle, and taking one of his people along with me to put it in tune once more, by which I learned how to go about it myself for the time to come.
So to dinner, my wife being lazily in bed all this morning. Ashwell and I dined below together, and a pretty girl she is, and I hope will give my wife and myself good content, being very humble and active, my cook maid do also dress my meat very well and neatly.
So to my office all the afternoon till night, and then home, calling at Sir W. Batten’s, where was Sir J. Minnes and Sir W. Pen, I telling them how by my letter this day from Commissioner Pett I hear that his Stempeese he undertook for the new ship at Woolwich, which we have been so long, to our shame, in looking for, do prove knotty and not fit for service. Lord! how Sir J. Minnes, like a mad coxcomb, did swear and stamp, swearing that Commissioner Pett hath still the old heart against the King that ever he had, and that this was his envy against his brother that was to build the ship, and all the damnable reproaches in the world, at which I was ashamed, but said little; but, upon the whole, I find him still a fool, led by the nose with stories told by Sir W. Batten, whether with or without reason. So, vexed in my mind to see things ordered so unlike gentlemen, or men of reason, I went home and to bed.

with the passion of a conformist
calling for quiet

I make a tune out of all
the aches in the world

which I am a fool to see
so unlike men of reason


Erasure poem derived from The Diary of Samuel Pepys, Wednesday 1 April 1663.

Romance, with Golden Record

river in November light between bare woods and mountain
We write messages, put them in bottles,
cast them into space. We curate what we think
is the best of us, or the most representative
of us. Music played by symphonies, the one-
note hum of a sitar, a shimmering copper
chorus of gongs, the mellow voices of poets.
Laughter, rain and foghorns; animal calls,
greetings in 55 languages. Who even knows
when or whether or not future beings
will examine our artifacts? By then,
the oceans will long have forgotten
our names and continents crumbled
in the depths like soggy croutons. Still,
we are in love with the idea that beauty
will somehow outlast the void,
that a billion light years from now,
something of us might survive, even
if only as a chord in the dust of space.