Khaos

Sam Pepys and me

(Lord’s day) Up and after the barber had done he and I walked to the Docke, and so on board the Mathias, where Commissioner Pett and he and I and a good many of the officers and others of the yard did hear an excellent sermon of Mr. Hudson’s upon “All is yours and you are God’s,” a most ready, learned, and good sermon, such as I have not heard a good while, nor ever thought he could have preached.
We took him with us to the Hill-house, and there we dined, and an officer or two with us. So after dinner the company withdrew, and we three to private discourse and laid the matters of the yard home again to the Commissioner, and discoursed largely of several matters.
Then to the parish church, and there heard a poor sermon with a great deal of false Greek in it, upon these words, “Ye are my friends, if ye do these things which I command you.”
Thence to the Docke and by water to view St. Mary Creeke, but do not find it so proper for a wet docks as we would have it, it being uneven ground and hard in the bottom and no great depth of water in many places.
Returned and walked from the Docke home, Mr. Coventry and I very much troubled to see how backward Commissioner Pett is to tell any of the faults of the officers, and to see nothing in better condition here for his being here than they are in other yards where there is none. After some discourse to bed. But I sat up an hour after Mr. Coventry was gone to read my vows, it raining a wonderful hard showre about 11 at night for an hour together. So to bed.

your God’s ready No
matters in Greek

words are a creek
on uneven ground

and no great water is better
than rain at night


Erasure poem derived from The Diary of Samuel Pepys, Sunday 2 August 1663.

Edgelord

Sam Pepys and me

Up betimes and got me ready, and so to the office and put things in order for my going. By and by comes Sir G. Carteret, and he and I did some business, and then Mr. Coventry sending for me, he staying in the boat, I got myself presently ready and down to him, he and I by water to Gravesend (his man Lambert with us), and there eat a bit and so mounted, I upon one of his horses which met him there, a brave proud horse, all the way talking of businesses of the office and other matters to good purpose.
Being come to Chatham, we put on our boots and so walked to the yard, where we met Commissioner Pett, and there walked up and down looking and inquiring into many businesses, and in the evening went to the Commissioner’s and there in his upper Arbor sat and talked, and there pressed upon the Commissioner to take upon him a power to correct and suspend officers that do not their duty and other things, which he unwillingly answered he would if we would own him in it. Being gone thence Mr. Coventry and I did discourse about him, and conclude that he is not able to do the same in that yard that he might and can and it maybe will do in another, what with his old faults and the relations that he has to most people that act there. After an hour or two’s discourse at the Hill-house before going to bed, I see him to his and he me to my chamber, he lying in the Treasurer’s and I in the Controller’s chambers.

staying at my own grave
a brave way to go

in boots of ice that do
their duty thing

unanswered
I conclude

I might to most
people be a troll


Erasure poem derived from The Diary of Samuel Pepys, Saturday 1 August 1663.

Discharged

Sam Pepys and me

Up early to my accounts this month, and I find myself worth clear 730l., the most I ever had yet, which contents me though I encrease but very little.
Thence to my office doing business, and at noon to my viall maker’s, who has begun it and has a good appearance, and so to the Exchange, where I met Dr. Pierce, who tells me of his good luck to get to be groom of the Privy-Chamber to the Queen, and without my Lord Sandwich’s help; but only by his good fortune, meeting a man that hath let him have his right for a small matter, about 60l., for which he can every day have 400l.. But he tells me my Lord hath lost much honour in standing so long and so much for that coxcomb Pickering, and at last not carrying it for him; but hath his name struck out by the King and Queen themselves after he had been in ever since the Queen’s coming. But he tells me he believes that either Sir H. Bennet, my Lady Castlemaine, or Sir Charles Barkeley had received some money for the place, and so the King could not disappoint them, but was forced to put out this fool rather than a better man. And I am sorry to hear what he tells me that Sir Charles Barkeley hath still such power over the King, as to be able to fetch him from the Council-table to my Lady Castlemaine when he pleases.
He tells me also, as a friend, the great injury that he thinks I do myself by being so severe in the Yards, and contracting the ill-will of the whole Navy for those offices, singly upon myself. Now I discharge a good conscience therein, and I tell him that no man can (nor do he say any say it) charge me with doing wrong; but rather do as many good offices as any man. They think, he says, that I have a mind to get a good name with the King and Duke, who he tells me do not consider any such thing; but I shall have as good thanks to let all alone, and do as the rest. But I believe the contrary; and yet I told him I never go to the Duke alone, as others do, to talk of my own services. However, I will make use of his council, and take some course to prevent having the single ill-will of the office.
Before I went to the office I went to the Coffee House, where Sir J. Cutler and Mr. Grant were, and there Mr. Grant showed me letters of Sir William Petty’s, wherein he says, that his vessel which he hath built upon two keeles (a modell whereof, built for the King, he showed me) hath this month won a wager of 50l. in sailing between Dublin and Holyhead with the pacquett-boat, the best ship or vessel the King hath there; and he offers to lay with any vessel in the world. It is about thirty ton in burden, and carries thirty men, with good accommodation, (as much more as any ship of her burden,) and so any vessel of this figure shall carry more men, with better accommodation by half, than any other ship. This carries also ten guns, of about five tons weight.
In their coming back from Holyhead they started together, and this vessel came to Dublin by five at night, and the pacquett-boat not before eight the next morning; and when they came they did believe that, this vessel had been drowned, or at least behind, not thinking she could have lived in that sea.
Strange things are told of this vessel, and he concludes his letter with this position, “I only affirm that the perfection of sayling lies in my principle, finde it out who can.”
Thence home, in my way meeting Mr. Rawlinson, who tells me that my uncle Wight is off of his Hampshire purchase and likes less of the Wights, and would have me to be kind and study to please him, which I am resolved to do.
Being at home he sent for me to dinner to meet Mr. Moore, so I went thither and dined well, but it was strange for me to refuse, and yet I did without any reluctancy to drink wine in a tavern, where nothing else almost was drunk, and that excellent good.
Thence with Mr. Moore to the Wardrobe, and there sat while my Lord was private with Mr. Townsend about his accounts an hour or two, we reading of a merry book against the Presbyters called Cabbala, extraordinary witty.
Thence walked home and to my office, setting papers of all sorts and writing letters and putting myself into a condition to go to Chatham with Mr. Coventry to-morrow. So, at almost 12 o’clock, and my eyes tired with seeing to write, I went home and to bed. Ending the month with pretty good content of mind, my wife in the country and myself in good esteem, and likely by pains to become considerable, I think, with Gods blessing upon my diligence.

is it good luck to get
lost so long

ever since my discharge
I have a never
talking head

better than another gun
holy to the night

my private Kabbalah
my eyes like gods


Erasure poem derived from The Diary of Samuel Pepys, Friday 31 July 1663.

Lightning Field

river in November light between bare woods and mountain

On Tuesday, there was an extraordinary number
of lightning strikes. 24,453, according to our local
meteorologist. That’s a whole lot of flash-to-bang
calculations. Approximately 16.98 strikes per minute
over the course of the day. A manual count is considered
inaccurate and prone to error, but there are radiowave
and satellite sensors. I saw the maps they produced:
the carpet of stylized zap lines, like the chest emblems of
Shazam and Captain Marvel. All the way from Tappahannock
and Chincoteague down to Williamsburg, Hampton, Norfolk,
Franklin, Ahoskie, and Elizabeth City— Bolts as tightly
overlapping as the keratin scales of the pangolin, one of
the world’s most heavily trafficked wild mammals, thought
to be the source of the coronavirus. And yet, for all
the tightness of this armor, the sense that the smallest
gap is all it takes to electrify the entire field.


Tom Thwaites Footpath: a haiku sequence

sunlit trail
the Brownian motion
in a cloud of gnats

still under the spell
of hermit thrush song
spraying DEET

under the oaks
shadows dancing
in silence

pine needle seat
I pound my chest to kill
a mosquito

well-trodden moss
another bear-flipped rock
back in its bed

ridgetop wind
old white pines creaking
from the roots

red oak seedling
among lowbush blueberries
my blue fingers

daytime moth
its small white field
of boulders

chestnut sprouts
encircling their dead elder
so bright a green

visiting with
a favorite old sweet birch
i bring my own tea

golden spindels
my phone enters low
power mode

all this silica
could still be mined out
someone else whispers

greenbriar
leaning into the trail
I pass on the left

no ‘Indian Wells’
this unencumbered view
of the sky

ferns doing fern things
my footsteps receding
into the distance

30 July 2026

Museum-goers

Sam Pepys and me

Up and to the office to get business ready for our sitting, this being the first day of altering it from afternoon during the Parliament sitting to the fore-noon again.
By and by Mr. Coventry only came (Sir John Minnes and Sir William Batten being gone this morning to Portsmouth to pay some ships and the yard there), and after doing a little business he and I down to Woolwich, and there up and down the yard, and by and by came Sir G. Carteret and we all looked into matters, and then by water back to Deptford, where we dined with him at his house, a very good dinner and mightily tempted with wines of all sorts and brave French Syder, but I drunk none.
But that which is a great wonder I find his little daughter Betty, that was in hanging sleeves but a month or two ago, and is a very little young child; married, and to whom, but to young Scott, son to Madam Catharine Scott, that was so long in law, and at whose triall I was with her husband; he pleading that it was unlawfully got and would not own it, she, it seems, being brought to bed of it, if not got by somebody else at Oxford, but it seems a little before his death he did own the child, and hath left him his estate, not long since. So Sir G. Carteret hath struck up of a sudden a match with him for his little daughter. He hath about 2000l. per annum; and it seems Sir G. Carteret hath by this means over-reached Sir H. Bennet, who did endeavour to get this gentleman for a sister of his, but Sir G. Carteret I say has over-reached him.
By this means Sir G. Carteret hath married two daughters this year both very well.
After dinner into Deptford yard, but our bellies being full we could do no great business, and so parted, and Mr. Coventry and I to White Hall by water, where we also parted, and I to several places about business, and so calling for my five books of the Variorum print bound according to my common binding instead of the other which is more gaudy I went home.
The town talk this day is of nothing but the great foot-race run this day on Banstead Downes, between Lee, the Duke of Richmond’s footman, and a tyler, a famous runner. And Lee hath beat him; though the King and Duke of York and all men almost did bet three or four to one upon the tyler’s head.

after a little art
we look into the water

drunk on wonder
you and I

to see is to overreach
our bellies call us


Erasure poem derived from The Diary of Samuel Pepys, Thursday 30 July 1663.

Light Years

river in November light between bare woods and mountain
I don't speak the language of chiromancy
or the language of astromancy, though I know

both derive divinations by examining the maps
of the hand, or the movements of celestial

objects through space. The month of my birth
is September, and aster is the star flower

assigned to it. An asterism is a group of stars,
any one of those you might see on the ceiling

of the night sky as they form the shapes of hunters,
animals, domestic implements. Bear, water dipper,

belt— Emblems hang on distant limbs in the tree
of heaven. Each hides a heart or a mouth insisting

on the usefulness of light produced by bodies, despite
the impossibility of knowing if they are still alive.

Diner days

Sam Pepys and me

Up about 6 o’clock, and found the people to have just done, and Hannah not gone to bed yet, but was making clean of the yard and kitchen. Will newly gone to bed. So I to my office.
And having given some order to Tom Hater, to whom I gave leave for his recreation to go down to Portsmouth this Pay, I went down to Wapping to Sir W. Warren, and there staid an hour or two discoursing of some of his goods and then things in general relating to this office, &c., and so home, and there going to Sir William Batten (having no stomach to dine at home, it being yet hardly clean of last night’s turds) and there I dined with my Lady and her daughter and son Castle, and mighty kind she is and I kind to her, but, Lord! how freely and plainly she rails against Commissioner Pett, calling him rogue, and wondering that the King keeps such a fellow in the Navy.
Thence by and by walked to see Sir W. Pen at Deptford, reading by the way a most ridiculous play, a new one, called “The Politician Cheated.” After a little sitting with him I walked to the yard a little and so home again, my Will with me, whom I bade to stay in the yard for me, and so to bed.
This morning my brother Tom was with me, and we had some discourse again concerning his country mistress, but I believe the most that is fit for us to condescend to, will not content her friends.

a clock was king
of the kitchen
having no stomach

it dined on the new
heated a little
sitting a little

in the morning rot
we had a count
to descend to


Erasure poem derived from The Diary of Samuel Pepys, Wednesday 29 July 1663.

Two-body Problem

river in November light between bare woods and mountain

After what seemed forever, the mind, that
ancient fish, moved slowly from the depths.

Tired of keeping its own counsel and tired of the long
winter, it remembered the pleasure of summer clouds

scattered like boats across a mirror-lake of blue,
each drifting out of sight. The mind rose to follow

in their wake, skimming through water-weeds
to get to the pale gold light coming through

little gaps above them. How warm it was near
the surface, touching the water’s skin. Stillness

was rest, until the silence became restive, became
coaxing. Until only what the heart said was audible.