Be it hereby resolved that:
- the minutes are approved as amended
- a thorough investigation will be launched into allegations of wrongdoing
- Monday morning quarterbacks should be put into the game, starting Monday
- my pa can whip your pa
- the shortest distance between two points remains open to lines of any sexual orientation
- I won’t come a-knockin’ if the trailer’s rockin’
- a picture shall now be worth 3,759 words
- the wicked will do wickedly (see Dan. 12:10)
- “love” is not a four-letter word
- wimpy, two-fingered air quotes shall be replaced by the secret devil sign
- we should each create a space in our hectic, daily lives for more sustained exposure to commercial messages and self-destructive impulses
- at ______, we build solutions
- life will be made better
- I will get down with my bad self
- we will purge our closets of “Free Judith Miller” t-shirts, ballcaps and buttons
- one good turn deserves another, unless otherwise indicated
- I will henceforth seek truth from facts, and achieve the Four Modernizations
- new leaves will be turned over at random and examined for illegal drugs or weapons
- mistakes will be made
- I will remain in beta