The Bloggers Association of America (BAA) has notified me that I am at risk of losing my blogging license if I don’t start publishing more random lists of links masquerading as bad advice.
- Eat junk food made out of paper
- Grow a Potemkin lawn
- Buy stock in livestock, specifically alpacas — “a stress-free investment you can hug”
- Keep all packaging
- Invest in garbage
- Get a tubal ligation or vasectomy and sell your breeding credits to couples with more than two children
- Stop eating brains
- Drive out the witches
- Engage in spiritual warfare with the weather demons
- Engage in internet warfare with the chemtrails
- Instead of expensive pharmaceuticals, take two poems daily
- Organize an airdrop of balloons
- Grow turnips on Mars
Oh, wait, make that 14:
- Submit to qarrtsiluni’s Journaling the Apocalypse issue by Monday, October 6 (guidelines here)
Funny AND depressing!
What I do not see here is anything about robots. An oversight, surely. I’ll forgive you. You’re only human, after all.
A clever way to list some funky posts. I liked the photos on the paper chips article. The witch hunt one made my stomach tie up in a little knot. And poetry therapy. Why does anyone need to become certified to do that? They need to join the po-co. We’ll certify them, hee, hee.
The PoCo is TOTALLY poetry therapy. That it is. And free!
You are a bugger, Dave. There I was thinking I’ll just quickly nip over to Via Neg and then I’ll get on with the lesson plans/ironing/giving the dog eyedrops etc etc and now there’s a danger I’m going to be here for the rest of the day.
I thought of that breeding credits idea years ago when Tom had a vasectomy and I told a colleague who said she wanted 4 kids she could have mine for me, I’d sell her my credits… I seem to recall she found pregnancy and childbirth such a drag she changed her mind though, so mine are still up for grabs.