This same screech owl
was trilling at 4:00 p.m.
from across the field.
Water from the tap —
it’s still moving when I drink it.
I trembled like that once, too,
after days without sleep.
I felt invincible.
Gray fur spreads
through the coffee grounds.
I’m bleary-eyed again.
*
For Read Write Prompt #89: it came from the news.
(Update) Other responses are here.
I enjoyed this poem. I wish I didn’t have to sleep ….
Thanks. Me too, sometimes. But if I didn’t get REM sleep, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t be able to write poems.
I like how each stanza takes note of a different physical sense (hearing, taste, feeling/trembling, sight). And, just like the man who can’t take a sleeping break, each physical sensation can’t take a break — the owl’s voice keeps trilling; the drinking water keeps moving; the body kept trembling; the eyesight keeps blurring. I’m glad I read this fine poem, but now I’m very tired.
Thanks. I must say you do poetry analysis well.
Thank you, Dave. I try to leave specific, helpful, appreciative comments for as many RWP poets as I can. But if I get too “fancypants” :) with my comments on RWP, please let me know and I’ll dress down.
Oh lord no. I just wish I could do the same. Despite majoring in comparative literature, I never really learned the art of effective literary analysis.
Hi Dave,
I agree with you about Therese’ analysis. I wish I could divine such points as readily. She has helped me to ‘see’ your poem.
Good one, Dave. This was a great prompt.
Hay, glad you liked! Yeah, this was one of my favorite prompts in a while.
Great poem, Dave. I once went without sleep for several days and felt quite invincible. I don’t recommend it.
Oh god no. It’s horrible. I almost lost my mind.
you mean to tell me i’m not invincible? so many naysayers.
dave, i like how this leaps from image to image — the connections are subtle and powerful. yeah, what therese says. constant motion.
Thanks, Carolee. I don’t know about you, but this is a lesson I will probably never fully learn. I love sleeping, but I love all the stuff I can do when I’m awake even more.
Fantastic, Dave – it reads like a collection of really wonderful haikus laid one on top of the other.
Uh-oh, you’re on to me! It did start as a haiku series, yeah. Glad you liked it.