Memos from the Department of Disappointment

We’re sorry your longing
for Christmas pudding
dissolved in the shallow depths
of an unimpressive mug cake.
The toy plastic dustpan never had
any honorable intentions. Not all
styrofoam peanuts from the box
get to help you separate your toes
during a pedicure. We don’t know
how many jars of yellow-footed
millipedes it would take to up
our chemical warfare game.
Even if you took an interest
in just one swan, all of them
officially belong to the Queen
of England. Also, some people
will never fathom what it means
to care about others, even if
they grew two more hearts
like octopus or squid.