(Lord’s day). My wife mighty peevish in the morning about my lying unquietly a-nights, and she will have it that it is a late practice, from my evil thoughts in my dreams, and I do often find that in my dreams she doth lay her hand on my cockerel to observe what she can. And mightily she is troubled about it; but all blew over, and I up, and to church, and so home to dinner, where she in a worse fit, which lasted all the afternoon, and shut herself up, in her closet, and I mightily grieved and vexed, and could not get her to tell me what ayled her, or to let me into her closet, but at last she did, where I found her crying on the ground, and I could not please her; but I did at last find that she did plainly expound it to me. It was, that she did believe me false to her with Jane, and did rip up three or four silly circumstances of her not rising till I come out of my chamber, and her letting me thereby see her dressing herself; and that I must needs go into her chamber and was naught with her; which was so silly, and so far from truth, that I could not be troubled at it, though I could not wonder at her being troubled, if she had these thoughts, and therefore she would lie from me, and caused sheets to be put on in the blue room, and would have Jane to lie with her lest I should come to her. At last, I did give her such satisfaction, that we were mighty good friends, and went to bed betimes where yo did hazer very well con her, and did this night by chance poner my digito en her thing, which did do her much pleasure; but I pray God that ella doth not think that yo did know before — or get a trick of liking it. So para sleep.
I dream dreams
as close as the ground
letting me see that I am
from wonder
and therefore would lie
in the blue room
would lie as a faction
and pray for sleep
Erasure poem derived from The Diary of Samuel Pepys, Sunday 7 February 1669.