"I'm sorry you can't have an origin that holds you." ~ Hari Alluri Here's a new language to marble in your mouth; a bowl of milk in which to dip it. You're told to hold your head in such a way to keep you from looking back, to keep from being distracted. In certain stories, those who give their souls believing this is how they become eternal can never change back into mortal form. But you love salt and sugar too much; and broth rich with shank bones and marrow. Shrimp paste, stinky fish sauce. In the pot, one eyeball comes loose from its socket in the head of the fish. Scoop it into your bowl. Suck on this chalky pearl because you want to remember the sound of church- bells, cacophonous grammar of war as ships sail into the harbor, unreeling chains leading to this moment here.