Zero Sums

Driving back from the gym, I listen to
a radio program where two mathematicians

are talking about zero. I'm parked in front
of my house, but their conversation keeps me

glued to the seat. One of them says in math,
whatever operation you do, you need to also be 

able to undo—just like with multiplication and
division. Unless you divide by zero, in which case

you get the impossible. Or you get a row of
mechanical calculators which get crazy hot

and perhaps catch fire, because the numbers
just go on looping. To divide by zero results in

infinity, because infinity in mathematics isn't
actually a number, it's a direction. You could move

in that direction, but never get there. Which is
to say, if you broke the logic within the known 

world of numbers and divided by zero, then all
numbers become the same number. One is two

is three is seventy; everything squares out 
the same. Does this mean all we have equates 

to nothingness, or does it mean  none of our 
differences matter or exist? On the radio,

one mathematician says, sure there's logic 
in supposing a world where everything is zero. 

But it's self-contained: it has no birthdays 
or anniversaries, whether ten or a hundred. 

Perhaps, then, the porcupine wouldn't have its pin-
cushion coat of spangles, or the octopus its eight

jelly arms. There'd be no trains or airplanes, olympic 
sprints, or medals for lifting, since every distance, lap, 

and weight would be zero. What else is there beyond  what
we already know? the other mathematician is dying to know. 

I think his question is kind of like the one my students 
often pose in challenging the old binary oppositions: 

can't it be both/and, since multiple things can be 
true at the same time in our complicated, paradoxical

lives? I feel lucky to "own" a home, but we don't
really own it (the bank does). I feel lucky to have had

children, but even now feel overwhelmed by 
the obligations of parenthood. I love this life 

with its bright days and summertime fig harvests,
and I hate the daily news of war and violence. I hate it 

more when I'm told to count my blessings, since there 
are so many others so clearly worse off than me.