Banner, Wings, and Keel

river in November light between bare woods and mountain
 
Hand-in-hand, hand over hand; hand over heart—
        how we move through the life we’re given, to keep  
from premature unraveling. I remember green days  

        dazzled with light, the child I was astride a tricycle 
with red and white streamers dangling from each handlebar.  
	In a nearly faded picture, my mother bends toward me. 

We both look in the direction of the camera, which is  
        another name for the future at which we flash our well-
pressed smiles. Later, let loose on the grass, I behead my own 

       share of dandelions, surreptitiously nibble on white 
clover, hiding my disappointment at not finding a four-leafed prize. 
       But I remember the herb-sour fascination on my tongue; how

every flower was a globe studded with tens of tiny flowers, each 
with its own small standard and two side petals enclosing the keel. 

Interval, with Ghosts of Wounds

river in November light between bare woods and mountain
As a young man, one of my grandfathers 
went to work as a cook in a hotel built 
in the 1900s. My youngest daughter and I 
stayed there on a visit years ago. It rained 
almost every day. But we had strong 
black coffee and ate breakfasts of fried 
egg and venison or fried egg and smoked 
fish with a relish of onions and tomato
in a room where generals and soldiers
dined during colonial times. 
We walked in the sopping rain—
I wanted to show her the cathedral
where people sheltered during the war;
there had been a crack running all
the way from the door and up the aisle, 
but like any kind of scar, it was hardly 
visible anymore. Even then, it was 
a place mostly full of ghosts for me. 
A statue of the crucified Christ still
lay on its back in a dusty glass case. 
During Lent, they took off the lid and
the faithful could come and touch
their fingers to all the places 
where the wounds would be. 

Greed

Sam Pepys and me

Up early to do business in my study.
This is my great day that three years ago I was cut of the stone, and, blessed be God, I do yet find myself very free from pain again. All this morning I staid at home looking after my workmen to my great content about my stairs, and at noon by coach to my father’s, where Mrs. Turner, The, Joyce, Mr. Morrice, Mr. Armiger, Mr. Pierce, the surgeon, and his wife, my father and mother, and myself and my wife.
Very merry at dinner; among other things, because Mrs. Turner and her company eat no flesh at all this Lent, and I had a great deal of good flesh which made their mouths water.
After dinner Mrs. Pierce and her husband and I and my wife to Salisbury Court, where coming late he and she light of Col. Boone that made room for them, and I and my wife sat in the pit, and there met with Mr. Lewes and Tom Whitton, and saw “The Bondman” done to admiration. So home by coach, and after a view of what the workmen had done to-day I went to bed.

this is the toneless god
I find myself free from

this urge of flesh-
mad mouths

to bury light
in the pit


Erasure poem derived from The Diary of Samuel Pepys, Tuesday 26 March 1661.

Helped

river in November light between bare woods and mountain
The sound of the river at night,
easier on the ears than the  noise
of winds rousing their own rabble.
I eat a banana at the counter, 
waiting for the laundry to dry,
wondering how to pay off all
my debts so I can retire. 
After the death of my father,
we found out he had barely
anything left in his savings. I can't 
remember for sure, but my mother 
lay in bed for weeks. I can't remember 
either how I fended for myself or if 
I had any help; surely I had help? 
There's another memory of her, 
sick in bed; and I only seven, moving 
back and forth between her bedside
and the kitchen as she gave me
instructions on how to cook adobo.:
lay the chicken pieces in the pot.
Barely cover with soy sauce, 
vnegar, a little water. Throw in 
garlic cloves and peppercorn, a large
bay leaf. I don't remember how long
it took to make everything tender,
who poured the stew over a bowl
of steaming white rice. Somehow 
she survived, I survived. She 
is only recently gone, while
I am still here. 

Re-commitment

Sam Pepys and me

(Lady day). This morning came workmen to begin the making of me a new pair of stairs up out of my parler, which, with other work that I have to do, I doubt will keep me this two months and so long I shall be all in dirt; but the work do please me very well. To the office, and there all the morning, dined at home, and after dinner comes Mr. Salisbury to see me, and shewed me a face or two of his paynting, and indeed I perceive that he will be a great master.
I took him to Whitehall with me by water, but he would not by any means be moved to go through bridge, and so we were fain to go round by the Old Swan.
To my Lord’s and there I shewed him the King’s picture, which he intends to copy out in little. After that I and Captain Ferrers to Salisbury Court by water, and saw part of the “Queene’s Maske.” Then I to Mrs. Turner, and there staid talking late. The. Turner being in a great chafe, about being disappointed of a room to stand in at the Coronacion.
Then to my father’s, and there staid talking with my mother and him late about my dinner to-morrow.
So homewards and took up a boy that had a lanthorn, that was picking up of rags, and got him to light me home, and had great discourse with him how he could get sometimes three or four bushells of rags in a day, and got 3d. a bushell for them, and many other discourses, what and how many ways there are for poor children to get their livings honestly.
So home and I to bed at 12 o’clock at night, being pleased well with the work that my workmen have begun to-day.

I am making new stairs
up out of my doubt

I face the old mask
and talk to it about light

and how many ways I get
to be with my gun


Erasure poem derived from The Diary of Samuel Pepys, Monday 25 March 1660/61.

Poetry Blog Digest 2024, Week 12

Poetry Blogging Network

A personal selection of posts from the Poetry Blogging Network and beyond. Although I tend to quote my favorite bits, please do click through and read the whole posts. You can also browse the blog digest archive, subscribe to its RSS feed in your favorite feed reader, or, if you’d like it in your inbox, subscribe on Substack.

This week: meaning in fog, emergency language, an inconvenient cemetery, a home make-under, World Poetry Day, the spring equinox, and more. Enjoy.

Continue reading “Poetry Blog Digest 2024, Week 12”

Five Year Review

river in November light between bare woods and mountain
We keep 
reinventing ourselves 

as if there was a shelf 
life to our kind 

of professional
Someone's always

asking for a dossier
An updated file

just to make sure 
you're worth the award

How much work
does it take to prove

you can work
How much more 

you could work
without the light

of constant scrutiny
Happy even

to be of use
Happy to disprove

the so-called self-
fulfilling prophecies

Mill town

Sam Pepys and me

(Lord’s day). My wife and I to church, and then home with Sir W. Batten and my Lady to dinner, where very merry, and then to church again, where Mr. Mills made a good sermon. Home again, and after a walk in the garden Sir W. Batten’s two daughters came and sat with us a while, and I then up to my chamber to read.

my church and I
at church again

where mills made
the garden mean


Erasure poem derived from The Diary of Samuel Pepys, Sunday 24 March 1660/61.

Sea changeling

Sam Pepys and me

All the morning at home putting papers in order, dined at home, and then out to the Red Bull (where I had not been since plays come up again), but coming too soon I went out again and walked all up and down the Charterhouse yard and Aldersgate street. At last came back again and went in, where I was led by a seaman that knew me, but is here as a servant, up to the tireing-room, where strange the confusion and disorder that there is among them in fitting themselves, especially here, where the clothes are very poor, and the actors but common fellows. At last into the Pitt, where I think there was not above ten more than myself, and not one hundred in the whole house. And the play, which is called “All’s lost by Lust,” poorly done; and with so much disorder, among others, that in the musique-room the boy that was to sing a song, not singing it right, his master fell about his ears and beat him so, that it put the whole house in an uprore.
Thence homewards, and at the Mitre met my uncle Wight, and with him Lieut.-Col. Baron, who told us how Crofton, the great Presbyterian minister that had lately preached so highly against Bishops, is clapped up this day into the Tower. Which do please some, and displease others exceedingly.
Home and to bed.

the sea is here
fitting into my house

and is lost among us
not singing right

as ears roar who told us
how to ache


Erasure poem derived from The Diary of Samuel Pepys, Saturday 23 March 1660/61.

Self-reliance

Sam Pepys and me

This morning I rose early, and my Lady Batten knocked at her door that comes into one of my chambers, and called me to know whether I and my wife were ready to go. So my wife got her ready, and about eight o’clock I got a horseback, and my Lady and her two daughters, and Sir W. Pen into coach, and so over London Bridge, and thence to Dartford. The day very pleasant, though the way bad. Here we met with Sir W. Batten, and some company along with him, who had assisted him in his election at Rochester; and so we dined and were very merry. At 5 o’clock we set out again in a coach home, and were very merry all the way. At Deptford we met with Mr. Newborne, and some other friends and their wives in a coach to meet us, and so they went home with us, and at Sir W. Batten’s we supped, and thence to bed, my head akeing mightily through the wine that I drank to-day.

I am my horse
for a bad way

newborn
through wine


Erasure poem derived from The Diary of Samuel Pepys, Frtiday 22 March 1660/61.