Accounts of Reason

The histories of modern thought and philosophy have always 
been described as progressive, their main defining features 

being the preoccupation with epistemology, and the privileging of reason
in constructing accounts of experience and the world. It all sounds so orderly, 

like you could command all the flares of your feelings or obsessions, angers 
or doubts, and they'd line up and snap to attention like good little soldiers 

under the orders of their superior.  Sometimes, like when I see the results 
of scans on the online portal but haven't discussed them yet with my doctor, 

my mind will spiral toward the worst-case scenario. And then, convinced 
This is it, the end is near, I'm reminded I haven't reviewed my will or put 

my affairs in order. I'm told I become unreasonably sad, unreasonably 
worried, certain I'm being punished for all the happiness I took, or took 

for granted—until someone gently steers me away from images 
of death, pushing  a cup of coffee or a bowl of soup in front of me.