Trail of Crumbs

“Learn to love silence and the taste of water.” ~ Dave Bonta

 

There is only a column of stones
where the fireplace used to be.

What was the thunk in the night of a green body
falling from the tree? Jackfruit, or avocado?

The heady smell from the garden is strongest
at noon: red-streaked tongues of ginger lilies.

If you take a candle and look in the mirror at midnight,
the gaunt face of your future bridegroom will appear.

No one around: waking from groggy sleep after giving birth,
finding the bathroom; jellied spiral of blood on the floor.

One memory of moonlight: my mother patiently filled spaces
between large, flat stones on the walk with smaller pebbles.

The furl of a fish fin in pond water: scallop
of vanishing rouge, tip of a mossy hieroglyph.

Dry bread, still sweet, softens in a cup of amber-
colored tea. This you can drink, and eat.

 

In response to How to lose.

Penultimates

“Send the dew of blessing, the dew of grace;
renew my dispensation, and grant me length of days.”

– from “Prayers for the Protection and Opening of the Heart”
by Ya’akov Hakohen, trans. Peter Cole

 

Intuit, lean in, listen: the world’s too much. Who’s left
that knows to comprehend words that don’t get spoken?

A finger traces a vein along the chipped Formica counter.
Behind it, the cashier’s chalking in prices on the menu board:

Banh mi, buckwheat crepes, waffles, sausage and gravy. Outside fog,
windows clouded with steam. Appetite not meaning to obscure the view.

A woman’s knitting a blanket for a child soon born. The tips of fingers
where they press to work against the metal needles, blue-heathered as yarn.

How long, I wonder, will I have the strength to keep sprinting? I barely made
the last flight out. And no one cares to look through manifests for missing names.

Rain now, snowfall tonight. Unharmed, the baby they found in a field.
A town raked through and through by tornado winds around her.

We sit with charts and tables: worry times need calculating cost. Ring it up
once, twice, thrice. Was everything all right? Come back again soon.

 

In response to How to Burn.

Mosaic

“The song badly sung. The incomplete preparation. The careless remark. The unexpected and breathtaking disappointment, which we try to hide.” ~ Seon Joon

The rows of sausages looped like necklaces of marbled beads at the butcher’s.

The layer of fat congealed on the surface of stew.

The limp caused by gout.

The bare light bulb and its coated wire, suspended from the ceiling.

The fingers bloated with fluid, the morning after (not rounds of drinking, just soy sauce from last night’s Chinese takeout).

The letters on the mantel, addressed but still unsent.

The seeds that never sprouted in the flower pot.

The flammable heart, equipped with its miniature fire extinguisher in matching red.

 

In response to errata & corrigenda.

You could write home about any of these:

the tourists turning their faces up in the rain
to gaze at the knickers of Marilyn’s larger-
than-life-size statue, her sculpted skirt
fanned open like sampan sails in the wind—

in the shadow of a billboard that says
Occupy Your Bed, the poet in his motel room
wondering about bed bugs before drifting off,
a haze cast by traffic lights on the window—

the slim boys and girls in olive uniforms and Mao caps
emblazoned with one red star each, serving spicy hot
pot chicken and salt and pepper shrimp in Chinatown,
years away from the cultural revolution—

the nine thousand five hundred and some writers
rushing from one conference room to another, the lines
for coffee and croissants longer than discourse, fleeting
conversations with the sound of riffled pages—

the man singing Billy Joel covers at the piano
in the chop house, the waiter who sang ode
after ode to marbled steaks, their filets
and strips, their bone-in and barrel cuts—

the sky above the art institute beginning to color
like the inside of a skillet, sheen of a butter knife
lying beside a plate of fish in a Dutch still life as towns
splinter apart in the wake of tornados down south—

the man on the street corner rattling his cup of coins
breathing Sweet little momma, please help;
the stranger pointing to his camera then to his face,
bowing and saying Thank you, please, you’re welcome.

 

In response to Words on the Street.

Season of honey and locusts,

of desert sand, of fasting;
wilderness where the silence
will remain unbroken— dry
bread and water, no sugar,
no salt. The skin might break
out in fever, the eyes glaze
with hallucinations, until
someone calls and the parched
spirit might quicken in recognition—
Who was it that said When the pupil
is ready, the teacher will make
himself known
? What they forget
to say is how long it lasts: how far
the row of flame trees stretches,
how steadily their acetylene torches
clearly devote themselves to burning.

 

In response to How to sacrifice.

Intermezzo

“Stare into the darkness until it returns your gaze.

Accept no substitutes, neither love nor a mirror.” ~ Dave Bonta

The depths return what they’ve been given:
old shoes, bits of broken teeth, snapped pencils.

The carapace of a seahorse, perfectly preserved.
The skull of an animal, smaller than an idol’s.

Who told you to tell your sorrows to the river?
It is always hungry, always trying to swallow

the moon’s silver wafer. And the moon? As always,
it is indifferent to your fate. As always,

it trails its silken garment, a lure weaving
in the dim rushes. The water you cup, falls

through your fingers like so much silver. Sometimes,
it’s hard to tell what love is, from its other.

Dear unseen one,

This entry is part 65 of 73 in the series Morning Porch Poems: Winter 2011-12

 

tell me the hour isn’t late,
that the all-day, all-night

diner still serves what I crave.
The sky’s cloudy, marbled, shot through

with bits of emerald: the color of expensive
granite countertops, or the supple skin

of certain fish. Pebbly in places, like
day-old bread. This might be the hour

for some old-time miracle: say,
fish and loaves; or wine and water.

Birds twisting free from fire. This time,
console me. My losses, reconstitute.

 

In response to an entry from the Morning Porch.

Augury

This entry is part 64 of 73 in the series Morning Porch Poems: Winter 2011-12

 

The old man wants to know which of his daughters loves him the most.

Like robes of silk? like crackling fat? like sheets of hammered gold with garnet crusts?

Like steel vaults, like a suit of mail, like a dome’s marble pillars and carved doors?

Woe to the stammering one who cannot summon her parade of woodpeckers, her retinue of tumbling clowns.

Be careful: bottom-dwellers lurk in the mud, jealous of every bright bubble of original thought.

They’ll want to pull her down, cast her out, call her traitor, demoness, ingrate, stupid bitch.

They won’t remember it was her who lit the fire in the morning, put the pots to bed at night, filled the glass with water that the indifferent hand reached for and drank.

She fashions a gown out of discarded plastic. She gathers water in a sieve.

Her heart fills and fills with salt— fractals like quivering ribs in magicians’ parasols, each more beautiful than the last.

I won’t tell her that she’ll have her day.

But I watch for signs glimpsed from the high window: how the planets align, how trees cast their shadows along the broken boundary; how the wolves howl as they press closer to their prey.

 

In response to an entry from the Morning Porch.

Index

This entry is part 63 of 73 in the series Morning Porch Poems: Winter 2011-12

 

When the hero of a thousand journeys is born, part of her soul spirals into a plant that her mother has made to take root in the soil. A sunflower, perhaps. Or a sapling that grows rapidly into a tree, leaning and breaking into blossom against the wind. Between every journey is a threshold. Birds bring news of what comes next, flashing their breasts like pennants rouged with coral or smoke. The stalk bends and straightens. The flower follows the sun’s ascent. The child climbs trees, runs across the grass, hair flying behind her like a sheet of night. Milk in the glass still has the sheen of alabaster. She does not stand in the light of the refrigerator, shifting weight from one foot to the other, mouth sleepless with frustration or ache or hunger. In old stories, the elders speak of warriors with heart: nakem; of growing wiser as growing in heart. Perhaps, what they mean is that capacity not only to survive what gusts in to level us all— Admit we’ve traced the fragile vein in the leaf, in the flower; seen it pulsing at the base of each other’s throats.

 

In response to an entry from the Morning Porch.