Wreckage

river in November light between bare woods and mountain

the wreck and not the story of the wreck
Adrienne Rich

Growing old under capitalism, we learn again and again how foolish we are to allow ourselves to become attached to any particular place. All will be destroyed for short-term profits. The kids who grew up playing in the creek that ran through an old pasture gone back to woods saw it all disappear under acres of parking lot for a new mall. The kids who grew up hanging out at the mall return home to find it derelict, the parking lot full of weeds from other continents.

And now, one supposes, there are children with skateboards and big dreams who love this new wasteland. Because when the wild is out of reach, the feral can serve in its place. The human need for unmanaged places is strong. Without regular contact with the more-than-human, our imaginations shrivel and we lose most capacity for self-reinvention, like large language models training on each other’s output, increasingly disconnected from the living flow.

Or perhaps the children are all scheduled up with structured playtime in safe and fenced-in spaces, and the only people out in the wasteland now are drug addicts and other unhappy campers. Under their heads as they sleep, the creek is breaking out of its rusty conduit. Ailanthus roots have found a fissure. It’s only a matter of time.

Empty-Handed

given back
to the forest
my walking stick

missing you
the blue
of a distant lake

almost April
maples redding up
for the breeze

walking home
the shush
that crushed stone makes

a raven’s croak
there’s nowhere to hide
from these blues

War News

One of those crystal-clear days in early spring when you can fool yourself into thinking it’s warm because the sun is so bright. I hike up to a favorite spot for a thermos of tea. I’m reading War News II: 12/9/2023 to 6/3/2024, an excellent and searing collection by Beau Beausoleil.

war news
the cold boulder
at my back

Walking home, I have a terrible thought: in a time of great lies, words are losing their power to change hearts, including our own, and therefore those of us who are religious, however obscurely so, ought to consider switching from prayer to sacrifice. Something more than performative gestures must be at stake.

killdeerkilldeer
the smell of cow manure
somehow sweet

Beachhead

putting my phone away
the plushness of the moss

at its greenest now
at the end of a hard winter

a butterfly dances past
like a lost carnival float

the naked trees sway
gray and weather-eaten

i find a habitable hush
in the shade of a pine

though from time to time
a moan interjects

the sound of friction
with a too-close neighbor

a wild lettuce seed drifts
on a pompon of down

up over the mountain
and out across the valley

where every raw patch
of plowed or scoured earth

calls to the migrant killdeer
as an unclaimed shore

Thaw

a chaos of paths
stops me in my tracks

tumbleweed AKA windwitch
stuck in the icy crust

while moss and lichen
nearby are melting free

touseled but upright
with gray cups upraised

a crushed plastic water bottle
rests like a saint in its icy crypt

the ground shakes
from a coal train

one piece of passing graffiti says
in gothic letters GET OUT

Meanwhile

crown shyness as they call it
saves the trees
from foreign entanglements

as shrinkwrapped
in ice they glitter
and shed dead limbs

now in my woodstove
a tongue of flame makes
a knot explode

smoke from my chimney
sinks to the ground
and ghosts off into the forest

where i soon follow
over the ice
with chains on my feet

seeking patches of snow
left behind by the wind
for news of spring

chipmunk forays
out of hibernation
the braided tracks of coyotes

bright green
scraps of moss
dug up by a squirrel

Winter Visions

what snow reveals
in hiding the ground

is no less than the lay of the land
under her fur of bare trees

the curves become clear
their geologic easier to follow

plain as a line of tracks
snow’s other revelation

how the land does in fact
belong to many others

who happen to keep
largely to themselves

as witnessed by hoarfrost
forming at the mouth of a burrow

from some deep breather
in a dreamless den

or the snow angel left
by an owl’s midnight raid

the splay of featherprints
a few drops of blood

disappearing in a squall
the snow showing its truest face

and when it stops
the air smells cleaner

a junco pours out his song
beside the spring

its dark water a refuge
from all this seeing

Snow Day

whither the snows of yesteryear
if not in this very weather

stand under a conifer’s fur
and begin to understand

absence prickling in the nose
no good or bad scents

furrows drift over as if
the storm were a harrow

aches forgotten i’m agog
at snow falling through oaks

inevitable snowflakes in my tea
taste of the ineffable